Daft Bird

Mr Pheasant you're a beauty, of that there is no doubt,
just such a shame when you were made they left the brain bit out.

I see you on the road ahead and know it's time to pray
for you to leg it to the verge, not turn the other way...

But there you go, you daft old bird, charging for my car,
You dice with death, I hold my breath and think how dim you are.

Phew! It's okay! You got away. It was a little tight.
Things would be so different if you knew your left from right.

Merrymakers

Woof! possesses magical powers; he seems to be able to calm the nine year old down in a way none of the rest of us can.
My rascal is all over the place at the moment, bouncing from sweet to sour at breathtaking speed. And not so much of the sweet since school started. But a moment or two with Woof! somehow helps him snap out of it. You can almost see the anger ebb away.

Heaven help us when he eventually loses interest; makes me feel sad thinking about it. But no sign of that happening yet - in fact Woof! has a growing band of merry followers who go everywhere with him.

My husband has started making up stories about this motley crew, and they're obviously good because I often hear howls of laughter coming from the 9 year old's room.  So, next to Woof! we have Snuggly Duck, Duck - grey, worn and well chewed - her french name is Snoogalay Canard, Canard and she is trouble basically; then there's Aussie Bruce, the narcoleptic rabbit who never finishes his sentences, and his painfully shy second cousin Oscar.

All it takes is a story and a sniff of Snuggly or Woof and life is good again.

Wouldn't that be great?


The Gallery theme this week is Happy!

St George's Day egg cosy

I'm on a bit of a roll with my Saint's Day cosies. Lovely feedback about the Leprechaun last month, so, thought I'd have a crack at St George...

and seeing how many egg puns I can get in a post…

St George's Day egg cosy

St Patrick's Day egg cosy

I crocheted the head and the egg cosy body for a good fit - the other bits are knitted because I'm a little more confident about my knitting abilities. The sword is a covered cocktail stick (point cut off!)

Have to admit I had to look up when St George's Day was, and it seems I'm not alone - apparently two thirds of us don't know the date. Probably because there's no national holiday - sure we'd all know it if we got a day off, like Scotland and Ireland.

A few other facts about the patron saint of England found out along the way:

He wasn't English.

Born in what's now Turkey in the third century, he became a Roman soldier and was eventually imprisoned, tortured and executed for protesting against the treatment of Christians.

St George has been the patron saint of England since the Middle Ages because he represents the traditional English ideals of honour, bravery and gallantry.

The myth of him slaying a dragon and saving the princess symbolises good driving away evil. In medieval mythology, the devil was depicted as a dragon.

Other myths about St George include: surviving being boiled alive in molten lead, forced to swallow poison and crushed between two spiked wheels before finally being beheaded.

By the by, Shakespeare's birthday is said to be on the 23rd April too.

So, time to celebrate, maybe with an egg? (possibly chocolate?) …if you're English that is, which I'm not. Anyway my 9 year old wants St George, which is fine seeing as he's more English than me. And he's my only egg eater.

Now I just need to work out how to knit a kilt…

Foiled again

When it comes to kids and Easter eggs
no matter what you say,
the foil gets ripped to tiny shreds
that seem to go astray...

So once all eggs are eaten,
and chocolate is a chore,
there'll be shiny bright reminders
twinkling on the floor.

They somehow spread from room to room,
like Easter time confetti,
there's bound to be a few of them
stuck behind your settee.

And however much you hoover,
however much you try,
You can be sure
that sometime soon
a glint will catch you eye.

Kinder-tastic!

I'd like to think that somewhere there's a special toy lab full of slightly eccentric people trying to out do each other with ideas for the weirdest, wackiest things they can fit in a Kinder egg.

'…hey, what about a scary baby on wheels sucking a dummy?'

'…wait! wait! I've got one! A baby in a turban...on a magic carpet, that can levitate!'

'Yeah!'

And so it goes on.

Maybe they're all computer generated now, but I'd rather hang on to the image of some toy techie person trying to work out how to get a bug rowing a pea-pod boat into a small orange capsule.

Kinder Surprise! There's a good chance you probably will be…surprised, that is.

Some of the toys are truly inspired in a crazy creative kind of way, with little moving parts that slot together; like mini feats of engineering.

As you can probably tell, I am a fan: I've been collecting them on and off for over twenty years.

What can I say? I love tiny.

Wasted on kids in my opinion.

Though they're not always brilliant: not always a swiss clock with a bird popping out kind of brilliant...

Sometimes just a boring lump of plastic, or - my least favourite surprise - a puzzle.
So disappointing.

But the ones that move, or wobble, or fly or even light up - like this dragon - well, you've got to be happy with that…(or maybe just me?)

Probably my favourite one is the mice in a box - frightening to think it's actually about 20 years old.

Simple but  clever: a little mechanism inside means every time you slide the box open either way, a mouse pops out.  I'm also quite keen on the kung-fu monkey that karate chops a piece of wood.

He really does.

I want to say they aren't as good now as they used to be - and I think they did take a dip into dull. But recently the Kinder toys seem back on form - a pony with a ring that clips on its back you can wear (well, not me..) I'd show you if I could find it. My daughter loves the flower fairies with petal skirts. Again I'd show you...

For some reason I still kind of weigh them by hand, in the possibly mistaken belief that heavier is better. And I still give the chocolate to anyone who'll have it.

Surely no one buys them for the chocolate?

Ode to Croissants

Beaming crispy crescents

lying in a pile,

Hard resisting something

that looks like a smile )

The flaky bakey loveliness

sets many tums aflutter,

Possibly because they're made

with half a ton of butter.

Try not to look, to catch a smile

and focus on the bread,

But it's no use, I leave the shop

with five croissants instead.

(no prizes for guessing where we are at the moment…enjoying some sunshine and frequent visits to the Boulangerie :)

Egg carton flowers for Mother's Day

My little spring posy is based on the roses I made a couple of weeks ago. Egg cartons are great for flowers, and I was thinking this simple arrangement might come in handy with Mother's Day around the corner?

So, if you fancy making these flowers, you will need:
Egg cartons
Pipe cleaners (preferably yellow and green)
Coloured tissue paper
Paint
Glue
Lump of old modelling clay
Yogurt pot

Cut out a few egg cups from the carton for the daffodils, and keep the edges nice and wavy - makes it look more like petals.

Cut some middle cones out too for the crocus/bluebell shaped flower (seems to be a sort of cross between the two!) - use the corners for the petal tips and join by drawing a triangle on each side, like the picture above…

Paint them purple and the daffs a sunny yellow.

Pierce a hole through the bottom of the bells and the middle of the daffs (Best done by an adult - use nail scissors or similar - keep them closed, press down and twist carefully from side to side) Push a piece of pipe cleaner through (roughly 10cm/4in.) Bend it over to hold in place - try to keep the pipe cleaner nice and flat inside the daffs (so it's easier to stick the tissue paper centres here later).

With the bells, we used a longer piece of yellow pipe cleaner and pulled more of it through for the flower stamen, and then folded the pointy end over.

To finish off the daffs, fold a piece of orange or yellow tissue paper (about 10x10cm/4x4in.) until it's a 2cm/3/4in. wide strip - you don't want it sitting too high above the edge of the egg cup - then roll up tightly.

Let them unfurl a bit before gluing the end edge down. Brush plenty of glue inside the egg cups (and over the pipe cleaner middle) and stick the tissue paper centres in place.

For the daisies, cut a 1cm/1/2in. thin strip of white paper and snip into 6cm/21/2in. pieces. Fold them in half and round off the ends.

Open up and use the middle fold to arrange three evenly on top of each other, so it looks daisy-like.

Glue together and when dry, carefully make a hole (with nail scissors as before, but put a piece of modelling clay behind the flower centre, so you have something to push against). Make it big enough for a pipe cleaner.

Wind the pipe clearner around a few times for a fuller centre.

We cut some long leaves out of tissue paper and stuck them on too - the easiest way to do this is to wrap them around the stalks.

Arrange your blooms in a piece of old plasticine (modelling clay) - one of those mashed up, multi-coloured lumps…(make sure you warm it up a bit first, so the stalks go in)

Cut a strip of wrapping paper to decorate your pot - make sure it goes round with plenty to spare (about 1 and a half times), then cut into about 3 or 4 pieces - so much easier to glue on neatly like this! Overlap each piece.
You could tie a ribbon around instead.

Pop in your flowers.