Day 8 Happy Birthday to me...

One week down - only 51 to go!!  It's also my birthday - it didn't start well when all the plants I'd ordered two months ago, in a burst of green-fingered enthusiasm, arrived on my doorstep.  I had completely forgotten about them - so spent the morning trying to work out what they were and where I had been planning to put them.....  


Then my mother-in-law rang and sounded seriously shocked when I told her how old I was - "NO!!  REALLY??"  I'm not quite sure how to take this - after 40 it's hard not to be a little number sensitive.....I'd like to think it's because I simply look far too young to be 45 - but fear she was genuinely surprised to find out her daughter-in-law is middle-aged!!  The best tonic for all this was going to my weekly art class as I am the youngest by a fair distance.  The lovely lady next to me was proudly telling me about the arrival of her second great grandchild...now that's impressive.  She also said she thought my painting was good so I love her!


The children were sweet when they got back from school - and then they ate all my cake......

Day 4 - Do's and Don'ts

It feels good writing day 4 - and there hasn't been too much talk about missing dad - I'm not really expecting major wobbles just yet because it's not unusual for him to be away.  They know what it's like.  They're just not used to him being away for so long.  The only difference I notice is that no one is sleeping well which is not good news!
   
Keeping busy definitely helps - the kitchen table is covered in lists.  Things I need to do, things I want to do - way too many things to be honest.  I seem to be going for the splatter gun approach - think I need to hone it down and give myself a chance.  


I wish people would stop telling me to watch the Military Wives' Choir on telly.  I know it's meant to be incredibly moving but it's very likely to set me off at the moment so best avoided for now!   Such a good idea though, to have something so positive and uplifting for wives and partners to focus on while their husbands' are away on tour.  I would do it in a heartbeat if I was given the chance.  I have GOT to stop singing the Smiths song from the John Lewis Christmas Ad - 'Please, please let me get what I want.." It's stuck in my head and it's driving me bonkers!  I love it but it makes me feel a little sad and the Ad is hard to avoid with my large telly appetite.




It is the weirdest thing, but I find when I'm anxious or feeling down I clean.  Odd I know, but for some reason it calms me down -  I think it's the one thing I can do quickly which helps me feel in control and less likely to crumble.  Or maybe I have OCD.  Whatever it is I started first thing on monday and the house looks fantastic!!

Day 1

It's horrible waiting for a day you're dreading - today is that day for me - the day of Dread - T left at 5am and we won't see him until Easter.  It's pouring with rain and dismal outside - everything looks flat and grey - and that, quite frankly is how I feel.  But there is also a tinge of relief - the waiting is over, he's away and we can start crossing off the days.