Saturday, 4 May 2013

Dad Time

I'm pretty used to my husband's weekly commute now; rather not have to be used to it, but that's just the way it is, and the way it's been for years. Plenty of people are in the same boat.
We do have a choice; the usual army life dilemma - stay put while he works away, or go with him and move every year or two. We've tried both and decided to put down roots so we had somewhere to call home and the kids could stay at the same school. But we do spend a lot of time apart.  It's not ideal and wouldn't suit everyone, still, given the choices it's the one that seems to work for us. Of course we miss him during the week and it can be lonely, but honestly, nothing is ever going to be as bad as last year when he was away for 12 months.

I do think we'd struggle if he found it hard to switch off from work at the end of the week, but my husband's always been brilliant at leaving it all behind, and jumping straight back in at home. Quite often he'll come through the door on friday evening and go straight upstairs to bath the kids - I never have to ask. And he knows better than to complain about being tired.

We still try to cram too much into a weekend; that's never changed, but as the kids get older I know he likes to spend time with each of them, on their own.
Sport's the thing with the eldest: playing and watching football, tennis, cricket..it doesn't really matter, as long as it's sport. He reads and sings to the youngest, and with the middle one it's a weekend walk down to the river. Just the two of them. The 8 year old loves it - and as strictly no one else is allowed to go, these lovely photos were taken by my other half.


Spot the hanger on? Humbug our crazy rambler cat always follows them..


They do lots of boy stuff, so I'm told - skimming stones, making dams, finding 'perfect' sticks and looking for treasure (interesting stones)


To do proper river exploring, you really need to get in the water..


this was close enough for Humbug!


It's all so familiar now that he's made up names for special places along their route - this is Palace Falls, don't you just love that? I asked him why, and he said because it's majestic! They're doing Wow words at school at the moment..


I requested this one - mum's flower photo. Love all the woodland anemones in among the trees.



The 8 year old gets home full of beans with a pocketful of stones - pink cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes.
A good dose of adventure with dad seems to help recharge his batteries, ready for 5 days...with mum.


20 comments:

  1. This is such a lovely post, exactly how dad time should be, made me smile and tear up at the same time x

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    1. Thank you Gailann :) I'm so glad they have this time together, quite sure the 8 year old will always remember it x

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  2. They are indeed 'lovely photos'. And Humbug's a character! Your situation must be hard at times, though, as you say, better than OH being away all the time. Sounds like he's a good 'un, and you have a good relationship. Not always the case for couples together all the time ;)

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    1. Thanks Abby, he ain't half bad really! As much as I'd like him to be around more, I know it would take a good while to adjust! So used to living this way now x

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  3. I felt a little emotional reading your post. My hubby is a policeman and works shifts meaning that he might not see the boys for 3 days sometimes as he leaves before they get up and gets home after bedtime. He has always wanted to join the army but I haven't been keen and I think he's now changed his mind. We cope now and he does lots around the house and with the boys but I'm not sure how we'd cope if he was gone longer. It must have been so hard for you when your hubby was away for 12 months.

    Looks like your boys had a great adventure and took some brilliant photos. I love your cat too, not wanting to miss out on the action :D

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    1. Really appreciate your comment :) So hard when your other half is working long hours or doing shifts - it can feel like they're with you but they're not. One of the reasons we opted for weekiy commuting was because when we lived together we hardly saw him. His trips away were unpredictable and I found that tough and frustrating. Often felt disappointed. At least now I have no expectations and know where I am with it all. Trying to be positive!!
      I also believe it's worse thinking about what it would be like than living it. Funny old life, army life - never imagined this would be mine, but you never do, do you! x

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  4. Great photo's and story and how lovely that Humbug goes too.

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    1. Humbug's a hoot! A real hunter, but also quite needy and hates being left alone. I love that she comes on walks with us, and she'll happily trot along for a few miles :)

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  5. How wonderful that your husband spends time individually with the children - I'm sure they absolutely love some 1-2-1 time with Dad, especially as he's away all week. These are lovely photos of their adventures in the woodlands, thanks for linking them up to Country Kids.

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    1. I enjoyed looking at the photos too, seeing as I'm not allowed to go! Thanks Fiona :)

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  6. Such lovely pictures. What a great tradition he has with each of your children. I also love that your cat goes for walks with you as well! :) xx

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    1. before I got married I had a cat that always came on walks with me, and I honestly thought he was a one off, but obviously not!! Thanks Emma xx

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  7. That's such a lovely post that I've found myself tearing up! My mum was a big advocate of doing something with each of the four of us, the fact that your husband does it too is so special. The walk they have looks truly magical, treasured memories to keep.

    Nipping over from Country Kids.

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    1. I'm sure as they get older the thing he does with each of them will change, but the tradition seems to be set now, and it's easy to see how much all 3 enjoy it. I know my OH feels he's missing out being away, but this one-on-one time definitely helps. Thanks so much for your comment x

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  8. Love watching my husband and son do things together - even though Will's a teenager now, he still loves to do things with his Dad. They're currently building a computer from scratch. I'm laughing at your crazy cat - how fab that he goes out for a walk with you!

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    1. a computer? I'm so impressed! What an amazing thing to do together! x

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  9. That's a really lovely post and I love the name palace falls

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    1. thank you Leyla - I love the way he's named places along the walk, he's even started drawing maps of their route now and marking them down! I'll have to keep one :)

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  10. No way! I always tried to get my cat to go for a walk with me but never managed it. Beyond cool.

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