Friday, 30 September 2011

Getting started.....

If I was that way inclined and added up all the time we've actually spent together over the last ten years, I know it would show we have lived apart for more than half of it.  Still, long enough to have three lovely children.

My sister is utterly convinced that when you do the sums we're still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage.....

Honestly, it hasn't been that easy, but we have learnt to truly value time together.
Our lives have panned out this way because my other half is in the army, so he's often away and we decided to have a home base rather than always moving with him.   These are choices we made - to be honest the options weren't great and the decision wasn't easy.  In an ideal world we'd live off the land, swinging hands, knitting jumpers with our home-spun wool and crafting gorgeous things ....but that's not going to happen.  Not yet anyway. It is the way it is.

I know there are masses of other single married mums out there (and some dads).  I've been amazed by how many couples around us live apart during the week or for longer - and we're out in the sticks.  Some like me are army wives, others have partners who are engineers, or they work in haulage, finance or the theatre  - such a mix, and those of us left at home face the same old daily grind....

Resentment can creep in so easily - the relationship needs to be strong.  You don't want to dwell on the fact they're out doing what they do, able to focus 100% on work with no other responsibilities while you're taking the strain back home.
Most of the time the reason is financial - jobs aren't exactly thick on the ground - something to cling on to during those darker moments when the kids are driving you bonkers.

So I am starting this blog now because my other half is about to go away for a YEAR.   This is the longest stint so far and I'm dreading it.  I am hoping a bit of regular writing will keep me sane and maybe help me find out what I'd like to do.  It feels like a turning point: our youngest has just started school and the oldest two are beginning to stretch their wings - which could be interesting.

It is not going to be plain sailing. 

But I don't want to wish the year away - I want to have something to show for it.
I want to do more than just survive the next 12 months.

1 comment:

  1. I'm visiting from Me and my shadow Magpie monday link, i was admiring your lovely Goebel milk jug and for some reason i decided to click on your first post. I really hope that now, half way through your year its going ok. It must be so hard. What a great reason to start a blog. I'm going off for a read and to become your newest follower.